skipping stones

Now I realize that it is mostly longing. A neverland of sorts, is orissa. Except that here it is as much a land to escape into as a place that will never be mine. Insofar as to comprehend is to see things as a factor of opposites I identify in orissa all that is not the case with cal, which is the queen of hearts. But for orissa these are charms that I am talking about. So yes between the city and my roots it is a complement rather than a duality that works to confound me in a happy perplexity.
The wiles of Calcutta are well known. Orissa as I am still discovering is a different proposition altogether. Here there is an unmistakable pride that mixes with every slightest bit of amazement at humanity and all that is wrought thereof. For of course all that men do is complex and wonderful in design; in orissa I heard of god as the cosmic purveyor, the merest tossing of whose locks revealed him as endless. In the scorched landscape the rain is warm in my eyes. In orissa I go blind, and carried away if I might add with some modesty. Because the credit for that does not belong to me. But all the same devotional music. Would you believe it, from the capital of Bengal and from its capital also and of all folks the devout to sweep me off my feet.
And then I went to the beach for more of that. Puri beach, the tide coming in, the lifeguards going out, the tourists on the waterline and me, loincloth out of control, plundering the waves. Spontaneity is an attribute of the tortoise even if speed is not.
The sea breeze hits the spire and makes the flag blow with a dazzling fierceness. It is as if the lord’s chariot would now turn left into the avenue, his big courtyard, and come charging on. We enter the temple.
Here we jostle with the gods, the gods with garlands in their hands, gods with palms folded, gods with the trademark sticks at the entrances, but really wherever them gods please, touching the gods filing past to hold out a dime for the gods. We got into a scuffle with a god who was facilitating the rituals of another god and a drunk god who was he claimed, backing down instantly, temple police. But the gods altogether were smiling on us and for as little as five rupees a friendly god accepted our offering on behalf of the lord of them all.
King of puri provided lunch, against payment and much in excess but gratefully shared.
Like India, orissa too lives in its villages and the passengers would halt in one such, where it all began, at least where one half of it all began. The hamlet which provided the two sons of my great grandfather on the distaff side with brides for each of them both of whom belonged to the same family. Indeed were blood sisters. Danapara then, the name of the gram. The harvesting is over, winnowings on. The standfan whirrs at full speed and the grain dropped into the windstream is separated form the chaff. The grain is easily dehusked in fact and in small quantities is a good munchy, timepass.
Also shrooms. Oriya for mushrooms – sattu; oriya for shrooms – no balls to ask. Actually far too decent to do so. Presented more than two kilos for dinners sake in goodwill. Ah! How lovely it is here, the flower of youth speaks up. The wilted flower of youth says whats the use. It means nothing. But in that moment sounded profound. We were fooled in the villages. The feeling is mutual.
The klaxon that had been sounding got louder. The noise coming from the stadium. Bleed blue. Neelachal. And then you go ahead and win the World Cup. Inexhaustible is also the faith which is self-depleting.

root #2

Oh hell
These revolving doors
One is never sure
Whether one’s entered
or gained the road
but you see the kid
has passed inside
unmindful of me
as easily as
kids do these things
(and that is as it should be)
I am the one doing
The minding
Of the luggage also
And the lugging
Although it happens sometimes
With my feet, bags and a trip
I stumble and
With my nose on the glass
I gawp after the kid
It is a funny thing




of time that waits
flying time scuppers
that retreat for rest
to be up and gone
so many doors are closed
that were open before
tiredness is all
that remains in the end
and between
shelter and escape
a revolving door



the culprit
doesn't know it
but when
he is nearing home
he sings
songs of devotion

vitruvian woman hmmph

Angst in pants

If in layers be
The soul of depth
Then in what tangle
Are you wound
That like a kite
You soar unbound
Yet what is that spindle
That pulls you so
And from your freedom
Holds you back

Grandmama’s boy/ nani yaad hai

Oh kindly soul
Awake you’ve rowed
So long
Now sleep
I will take you ashore

For ma —

My mum
And me
On a bus

My mum
The loveliest
Creature on earth

I pick at
Earthworms
And she
Gently reminds me
They’re not
To be carried home

holi in my soul

On the back of the crest
Creeps the fall
To the sound of crashing waves
In the play of eternity

The furious cavalry charge
Rising every moment
To a rapturous peak
Is suddenly
Brought to its knees
With the fort so close
The shore beneath its feet

And the broken waves return
To the slumber of the deep
Where in the womb of mermaids
They are nursed to sleep



There is the small of the back
And then there is the big about it
Keeping my eyes on the one
I can explore
the ramifications of the other thing


by the riverside
in cool glades
if the goats of spring
will find their feed
the goatherd then
god bless him
must be allowed to
help himself to
what he needs

im a regular carnivore
with a bird’s metabolism
im the wisest of beasts
with the metaphysics of
a tadpole

(that's) some lust in the time of destruction

That which
Will get
Over soon
That which is
Forever but
Not ours to keep
That that
Should have to be
Decorated and nourished
But what hunger is that
What aesthetics
Will worry over
every detail and
not a wink sleep


a cloud born free
in the widest sky
will gather water
only to rain out
and that is
the end of it
in the fitness of things
what is then
saving for
the rainy day I think


tremors shake
waves crash
people die


True globalization hasn’t stopped at the disasters. That we’ve heard. And have even seen manmade ones cause destruction of fantastic proportions across the lands. But the contrast between what nature wreaks and what man hath wrought lies at the moment 150 miles off tokyo. Tsunami, colossal, terrible swept away much that had been carefully put together. However, despite the scale of the crisis, as such it was going to be confined to japan. But the radioactive leak fears are proving to be something else. Apart from the panicked reaction it has triggered off among opponents of nuclear power who have been galvanized into greater agitation on the basis of the cold evidence in japan, it also made me look up to the sky to see if it was going to rain because I got texted a warning about there being a chance of radioactive ash or something in the rainwater so please use a umbrella. There.

nights of long knives

Your ghost
Had his hair
Parted to the right
It is one of the most
Recognisable sights
In the crematorium
When the woods
Crackle and burn
It calls the insects
To the flames
One blindly follows
the other while grimly
you stood
beside though your teeth
you couldn’t hide
you were
only a shadow
in that leaping light



just before the sun
sinks
I think oh what a night
It’s going to be
But before I know it
It’s another morning
The gilded hours
have passed unnoticed
between dozing off
and fighting off sleep


and here I think I’ll be given
to guard the king’s treasury





I’ll woo you
With my spaceman
Promise you that
Hand in hand with you
I shall see my thousandth sun
Then how will you turn me down
When I tell you
I am not of this ground
Even as I kneel
To see whether the sandal fits
You will squeeze into it I know
Though it should bite and pinch
And come away one foot bare
And the other bleeding
With me leading you
Across the moon because
You have the breath of stars
In your bosom
You want to live
In the skies

Things fall
They break
Things from
The devil
Their orders take
One thing
While asleep
One thing
When awake
I will
Go down with things
Things shall
Take my place



Bang
Patter
Silence

Shock
Fear
Silence

Fear
Shock
Silence

Patter
Bang
Silence