buggered

I have exceeded all limits
So I’m told and i
Believe I’ve done that
The constant throbbing in my head
Started last night and my
Day dotted with a myriad things
was all the same terrible excruciating
it’s not always been like this
though now I wonder
however else could it have been
the sun blotted out
the moon late in coming
what stars there were
didn’t distract or anything
I kept my head low slept
Bathed many times prayed
And from the effort of seeing
Lay resigned and hardly moving
Maybe it is fatigue
the burden of living
On the two islands of thinking
And feeling with a gulf in between



I opened my eyes
Opening eyes
I was seized with horror
With horror seized
A yawning abyss facing me
My fears confirmed

I turned away
Turned to the skies
There too I found a hole
A pit for me everywhere
It’s my choice when I fall but
Whenever was falling not an option

To take a step further
Is to tumble down
But I decide whether
To take that step at all

I will be looking up
When the ego lands
with a thud