only walls

between us
a panzer division
we on either side
of a fiery evil
the evil
of our times


ive kept myself from imagining
so many things imagining is
nonsense it is shit
imagine not dying a rebel
say at age twenty imagine
happy circumstances serendipity
and its place in history
imagine the imagined past
imagine the future
imagine being in the moment
a rebel there all imagination
ends imagine dying a rebel


younger much younger than i
there is all lyric lost and
i am horrified
in sacrifice and suffering longer
than is my lot ive forgot
that love is one buttons push
into the stream that washes
the universe and much before
me have been lost
triers unto secrets so deep
it insults my logic to think
that i hold onto a bar swimming
im learning only to just
stay afloat while those that
would fly have sunk a long time


look im blind
are you a believer
or am i lying
do you see
or am i shying
away from what
you know and what
im hiding do you
sleep past your
waking hour do you
dream before bedtime
you are in
love with me
but so am i
a scent for a pup
i feel a beautiful love
you can sniff out my
dismembered parts
scattered in your search
 maybe my eyes are blurred
because im tired of looking

hurled relieved on hurling

but why would i
talk about that
attraction unless
i was pimping it to you
as a secret so well-savoured
much better felt than spoken of
why would i make it
a crossword puzzle for myself
and be consumed in thinking up
words to fit for it is no mystery
to me but it is no great strength
neither for all that i still
chase after the mantle
of the uncrowned king of lovers
i seek words of a dark charm



not the devotee
id rather be darth vader
and control and summon
at will and summarily
undo the order of creation
i have no piety and
would rather pity than
be pitied instead of
a driver i would rather
be an engine with
a mind of its own
incoherent and never
expected to answer
where i go



the benchmark for hollow passages
is the smell of pigeonshit
in old country houses or
the few still fighting in the city
as birds go missing from the skies
the lament of hyenas and jackals
rends the air and the odd dirge
sung in the dead of the night
becomes a part of that chorus
and is like nothing in the morning

passage for a poet

you are not so forgettable more spirit than flesh but then im an emir of cairo suddenly caught in a reverie at court seeking pleasure is my duty with a cool sense of purpose i carry on but for the sudden moments when sweet molecules enter my body and and in my mind i am told it is something i shall find no more when called back to d'affaires du jardin i go back to pretending that all of it had made me happy then that even then thered been a stated purpose like in the rose for the thorn and that it is something ive always known in this story knowledge helps in better use of the seasons and certain memories are storms

sometimes she would
point it out to me
a heartbreaking sunset
or tell me on phone
of a sky drenched in blood
a fiery glow
she would know better
that someday
beauty my love will kill us
 i nod and inside me wells up
scorn that i do not know
anything its texture its taste
its form nor close my eyes
and i can see it
it is dark in beauty's shadow
i spend my time sleeping
and then i dream
that i have swallowed my tongue
and in that final moment of beauty
i am speechless

rushing back
i had promised
myself the earth
but denied that embrace
wendys mothers kiss
always i have ended
further than
i was at the start
and not ceasing
to wonder i have
sat up nights
eyes wide apart
oh lord you can
end this now
or you can
show me
the way to the heart



the ease
now is the unease
but i love you
no less
than your photographs
are a magical you
bewitching me
intensely in
my lonely hours
on the tops of hills
there apart you and i
there is love
i am not there
and you are not there
but there is love
that will kill us my love
i am not here
and you are not here
but ive seen it
for you my love
ive forgotten myself
in that cool sweat
there was a crucifix
on that hill
i never stood
in its shadow my love
but i did it for you
i scaled a mountain
but i was not with you
i was never there my love
unless you tell me when
for you my love



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