pips anxiety

noahs sons were in the army
much before they found out
theyd been inducted
falling out of line aplenty
but hectored back in each time
of the animals saved
they became loyal like dogs
and in cat found honour and life
but having had their learning
in a zoo they were in the final
analysis inadequate in the fight


to the innocence that died
she said you will live again
you shall rise i will
bear you to the world
you are a fruit of
the poisoned tree
to poison you shall return
but i will carry you through
if you are brave enough to ride
i will take you to the eruption
of light when the sun is passing
from one darkness to another
and you will know you cant
stay there though blinded
you will return
so cry cry my innocent
and die die my lovely
weep into my palms


i guess this is it. the crisis of faith. the pandemic though thanfully incommunicable ulcer. after all we are all but one ghost at a time. and peace be upon us we can either get through it or die trying. for i think here even a serial killer does what he does because he believes he is up to some use. and personal is as jutifiable as public if you know what i mean. as in the line is very blurred; when a stripper goes on to become a movie star and doesnt quite abandon her original calling would you call it self interest or is it social uplift. hard to tell. so yes i am convinced kafka and clockwork orange and dr death all needed belief to get by. cynicism may not be faith that moves mountains but its incredulity can make holes. kafka for one knew that. and used it to 
derive some meaning from his life but alas. as for many others, brave martyrs like him. for them that didnt fight to death is collateral. the collateral vision is that we slug it out, pray that nothing happens till it happens, that is, if we are willing and able to comprehend that something is going to happen at all. for it is the collaterals privilege to feel insured. so safe and reckless are both belief systems, the question my friends, again because outside its morning (notice how i retreat in the face of dawn), which to choose and churn into faith for maybe if i can recall thus spake zarathustra that belief is the faith in the known as faith is the belief in the unknown, or the other way round but one of them for sure.